WHEN LOVE HURTS..

'I was looking for no love when it found me'. I cant remember where i heard these words before but right about now they seem the most appropriate to describe my situation. Love is suppose to be a wonderful thing, it should herald the beginning of a persons happy times. If anything, I believe we should all strive for love because with love, everything seem so easy and serene. This should be the case for everyone in love, myself included. But what happens when love hurts?

Love never game me a warning when it came knocking on my door. I can not even tell you how it crept secretly into my heart. But when the damage is done and it takes residence is your heart, you become powerless against it and in the end, wallowing in its pleasures is all you can do. This is my story, a story about love with a twist.

I have been friend with this beautiful girl for long now, Since 2011 to be precise. if you are friends with anyone that long then it must be genuine friendship. We have kept in touch, exchanging pleasantries whenever time allow. I must say i have always felt something that i wrote off as affection for this girl. She radiates enough warmth to fill a room. It was not until recently when i got to understand the full extend of this 'affection' i felt. i could describe it here but that would take about three chapters to put into words.

So you might be wondering, why not ask her out? The answer my friends is a bit more complicated than that. I would ask her out in a heart beat. Trouble is, she is torn in between. Why do i say this? She has confessed to having feelings for me. Actually she thinks she is falling for me. This is where the twist comes in. She is in love with her current boyfriend too. She loves him very much and theirs is a working relationship. What i offer however is anarchy in a peaceful pond. Total chaos if you like. Why do i say this? The lady in question is in Scotland, with the boyfriend while i reside in Kenya. Even if i wanted to be with  her, there would be logistical challenges, challenges i believe we can sort out though. Ours seem a more turbulent road to travel, a road that might be rocky before it smooth-ens out.

Once i became aware of her feelings i thought about fighting for my interest. Here i was thinking, 'Should i push further?' 'Should i make the move?', 'Should i go for what my heart really yearns for?' I know for sure what my feeling for this lady is. I want her to be my better half, i would drop everything in a heart beat to be with her. If this is the case, then you might wonder, why not drop everything and chase after your dreams?

This is however one dream i have failed to chase my friends. These are my reasons; When something as good as this comes around, one needs to be ready to grab it and hold on to it. My greatest fear is i wonder if i can hold on to her. To put it plainly, i wonder everyday if i can give her happiness to last a life time. When someone gives up everything for you, the least you can do is make her happy. I would love nothing than to make her happy all her life. If i had noted even the slightest conviction that she is ready to drop everything for me and take a chance at happiness, then our love would have conquered all. She says she loves me but i get the feeling it is not enough for her to be with me.

What are my options in this case? I wonder. Every time i think about this, the more i am convinced i should run. I want to run but something holds me back. I need her. I want to be her friend. I want to keep charting with her and i want to keep feeling this feeling i feel whenever i think about her. The feeling is intense, probably the most intense i have ever felt.

 I have always had answers but in this one i don't. My love bleeds for her. I need her so much i am willing to agonize in silence while i watch her have a life outside my own. But this i do only because i did not get a good enough indication from her that our love can conquer all. That stupid love that knows no boundaries, a love that can not stand to see the two of us apart. The day i get the feeling or an indication from her that this is the case, our love will triumph.

This my friends, is when love really hurts.

TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN..

Have you ever wondered why in rough estimate poor people are more closer to God than the rich ? Isn't it suppose to be the other way around?  Shouldn't the rich praise God for He favours them while the poor to blame God for their miseries?? Obviously this is not the way it should be.

The statements i have made above are not necessarily true. I have no evidence to back them up. This is why i am not comfortable making such  general statements. I have however noted that this happens to me a lot. Allow me to tell you how and why,

Since i live alone in my own house i am am bound to experience days when i have a healthy budget while some days i experience shortages mainly for lack of good planning. I have noted with great concern that days when i am broke i feel closer to God than days when my pockets are full.

For the past few months when i had sufficient money i forgot about God. I never noticed anything unusual at all even for the fact that i was lacking in my devotion to God. I was not entirely focused when i prayed and i lacked the general drive to get closer to God.

You might be asking why i am telling you this. Last week i misused some of my money and for the first time i felt broke. This time i remembered God. My focus returned and i was really devoted when i prayed. Am left to wonder if i am hypocritical at times. Have u had a similar experience before?

When things are good and smooth we tend to forget God. Even if we pray we do the half hearted, hurried prayers. wait until things go south!! This is when we remember that God exists. This is when we believe strongly in His existence. I still don't know how to think about,exalt and worship God at all times with equal devotion but i can assure you i will improve on that.

Maybe you don't agree with me on this one or do you? If you experience the opposite then you are probably in a better place than i am. One thing is clear though, THE RICH AND THE POOR HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON, THEY WERE BOTH CREATED BY THE LORD.

BESTIALITY....but why?

......so last week i was in the entrepreneurship class hoping to pass the time as the lecturer bored me with his never ending 'sermons'. I had hoped the time would fade away very fast so i can head home and eat. As usual the lecturer would come in very grumpy and we would know just about everything he was about to say.

However this week it was different. It seemed different from the very start. He was not his usual self, he was happy. A rare sight indeed. i was moved even more when started his 'sermon' for the day. He was talking about integrity and the recent news headline that had just hit Kenya. The one about bestiality...

On any other day this would never have made any headlines. However this was coming after the scandal that had been in the news all week. A couple of girls had decided to engage in the inhuman act of bestiality for pay. A foreign man believed to be the instigator of all this was paying the ladies for having sex with the dogs. Normally i would never comment on such matters because for one i don't know what drove the girls to such degrading acts, blame it on the economic conditions if you may..

Now back to the lecturer, the man had been going on and on for what seemed like ages about how these girls were a disgrace to the society. More so to the universities and the lecturers because these girls were collage students. Everything he said was true, but have you ever given it a thought why these girls do such things? And why was he shocked that such things had only started happening in Kenya now! Well i can tell my good friend the lecturer that such acts have been with us for a while. The fact that they only just gained media exposure is another matter all together.

Most people are quick to highlight all that is wrong with the society. All that is well and good but what are you doing to rectify all that is wrong with the society. Don't they say charity begins at home? Well i believe so. These women we demonize belong to the very society we belong to. I am almost sure that none of them enjoy the act. No one would commit such acts for leisure, or so i believe. Parents should do all they can to ensure their children have a good upbringing and a good education. This will not solve all the societal problems but it will be a start nonetheless. Its a tall order but one we must all unite to see eradicated from our society.

One major critic to my view that parents should do all they can to help their families is that some of these women who engaged in the bestiality act were mothers who were doing all they can to feed and cloth their families. That is all well and good but remember this, DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT AND NOT WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT.
Good day good people.

VIRGINITY FOR SALE...

A few weeks ago i read an article on the local paper a story about people selling their virginity for a fee. Obviously there are many reactions to this statement.

First before the reactions let me tell about it. Some ladies and men have taken to Internet to market themselves and earn a living through this means. They post ads about them and how much their virginity is worth on the Internet. Since the net is a wide world web they have access to a large market. Its more like bidding from then on and the highest bidder gets to win the virgin.

First of all i think the idea is innovative. Its very hard nowadays to make money with the economic crisis globally in full effect. Everybody needs to survive. Its more like survival for the fittest these days and the most creative survive. These people after all are just using the resources available to them to succeed.

However not everyone will see it that way. Some believe it is morally wrong. I personally don't know what to think of it. Because even after considering all the factors and debating every point, no one side of the argument would win in this battle. This is because you will either be a sympathiser or a rational thinker. In both cases there are many reasons to support either side.

One such lady had posted on the net and the results were amazing. She got replies from all over the world. By the way the lady was located in Brazil. The gentleman who won the bidding is some feller in Asia. He had to part with top dollar to win that contest.

Fortunately for that lady she had an asset and she utilised it. I don't see the fuss in that...but wait, what would make a man spend all that money for virginity? If anything i think virginity is not all that precious. Have you ever tried to have sex with a virgin? If you have then you will know it doesn't live up to the hype. I most certainly wouldn't part with that much for a few minute romp.

Its interesting to note that ladies fetched more money for their virginity than the men. Honestly i don't know why? Or is it because a woman's virginity can be verified while that of a man cannot be verified? Maybe. The other point to note here is that prettier women are more likely to be successful in this market compared to the not so good looking ones.

Would you ever try this as a means to make a living? If life pushed you to the limit would you do it? Only you can answer that question...
Good day folks..

JUST FOR LAUGHS....

Yesterday i came  across this article that i thought i should share with you. I found it in a marketing magazine and it was written by some author named Brenda Wakiagi. The article was about the power of branding. I think its a great piece with a light touch, just what you need before the Easter holidays.

So here we go:

1st scenario: You go to a party, see a a very beautiful girl, you walk to her and say 'am great in bed, so how about it?' that is DIRECT MARKETING.

2nd scenario: You are at a party, you give your friend a buck and she goes over to that beautiful chick and says 'my friend over there is great in bed, so how a bout it? that's ADVERTISING.

3rd scenario: You somehow get her mobile number, you chat her awhile and say, hey, am great in bed so how about it? that's TELE-MARKETING

4th scenario: You go to to a party and you recognize the girl, refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle, then you say, am great in bed so how about it? that's CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.

5th scenario: You stand straight. You talk soft and smooth, you open doors for ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing Mr.  Gentleman and then you say, am great in bed so how about it? that's HARD SELLING.

6th scenario: You to a party, SHE COMES OVER TO YOU and says, ' hi, i hear you are great in bed so how about it? NOW THAT is the power of branding.......

Enjoy your day and happy times this coming Easter    

WHEN YOUR DOWN, HOW DO YOU GET BACK UP?

Another Friday, another day gone.....What have you done to ensure the day ends a success??? I hope you are well this Friday. I most certainly am.

Lately i have been lacking some much needed inspiration. Life is threatening to become a routine for me. A routine where the events of the day are pre planned. I hate it when i wake up in the morning and i know almost everything am gonna do throughout the day. Where is the element of surprise in that? Don't get me wrong, its advisable to plan your day, but when it reaches a point where you know how the entire day is gonna pan out then there is a problem. If you don't agree then i guess your a robot.

So here is the question, when you lack inspiration, when your short of focus and when you lack direction how do you get back on track? In life you are bound to face those days when you backslide. I have discovered that i am at my happiest when i link freely with God and my fellow men/women. When everything is smooth and everything is a great success.

However there are those days that things don't seem to work, when everything you do turns into a frustration. In those moments i always know that returning to God is the first step to recovery. However lately i shy away from God because i lack the zeal and the moral to talk to Him. Sometimes i start to pray then i fall asleep midway. Do you get the picture now?

In time like these there are a few things that i like to do to regain my focus and have a sense of purpose. You might have a different way of dealing with such situations and i would like to know how you deal with them. You might be shocked that what works for you works for me too.
 So here we go:
1) When i am faced with the above situation i turn to God. When i have an honest communication with God i always feel lifted.

2) I love nature. I have this big dream of one day owning a ranch. I love a good forest too, or a jungle. Where i live there is a beautiful ranch owned by the university. Its a vast land with nothing on it. Just grass. On the sidewalk their is a beautiful forest of eucalyptus trees lined along the narrow path. Every time i visit this place i always feel liberated. The place has a calming presence around it. The whistling of the tree leaves on  a windy evening on one side and  a vast unoccupied land on the the other side is a sight to behold. simply breathtaking.

3) Have you ever wondered why some people in your life are more important than others? One of the reason for this is because of what these people have to offer in our lives. I have one such person in my life and its none other that my cousin Danielle Dee Ochieng. The inspiration and love this woman has shown me over the years is unmatched. She gives me stability and the confidence. I pride myself in knowing that out there i have one of my greatest allies. The role she plays in my life has no substitute. Shes the pillar upon which most of my foundation is based.

4) Lastly when i am stuck and frustrated by life i make short term goals. Things that i can do to get quick results. We all love it when we accomplish things and i am no different. I normally highlight what i can do in  a short time with immediate results. This way i stay happy always.

That works for me, its your turn to find out what works for you.
Good day good people.

ROLLING BACK THE YEARS...

Hey y'all, do u believe that miracles still do happen? I never knew for sure if they even happened. Am talking about the kind of miracles that Jesus performed in his time like healing the sick and changing water into wine.

If i told you today i know of a place you can come and see miracles happen for yourself, would you consider coming? Well this Sunday i got such invitation. It was very early in the morning when my mother called me to join her at the historic Uhuru park. I was quite hesitant at first, one because it was too early for me to wake up and two, because i didn't believe any miracles still happened.

I could not turn down such an invitation though so i made my way to Uhuru park in Nairobi. I have always been a great believer in what i see with my own eyes so i really wanted to see. There was a national prayer day for Kenyans, focusing on repentance and forgiveness. The main purpose was to repent so that Kenya would not witness the kind of violence that took place during the post election violence. i have never seen Kenyans more united.

The meeting was being hosted by Dr. prophet David Owuor. All the eight presidential candidates were invited. If you know anything about the recent animosities between some of these candidates then you would have been forgiven to suggest they couldn't share a podium let alone show solidarity and commit to peace.

That sadly is not the miracles am talking about. What i witnessed was akin to the biblical times miracles. Lately i had been reading a book titled 'Do miracles really happen..' The book argues that the miracles performed by Jesus were no magic. They really did happen. moreover Jesus did them in public for all to see. Healing of the sick and feeding people on two fish and five loaves is no illusion. Actually when Jesus was arrested he was asked in whose name he performed these miracles and not questions on the authenticity of the miracles. This is because they really did happen.

On Sunday i saw a blind boy regain sight. He was a boy of ten who was born blind and now he could see. This was in the full glare of the public. Thousands of people had thronged the venue to witness healing and repentance. This was a three day meeting that started on Friday all through to Sunday. I am actually told the day for healing was a Saturday. I missed that but reliable sources indicates over twenty people were healed. If that is not a miracle then i don't know what is......

Good day happy people. May God bless you in all the good things you do today.